It's just shy of two months since we got married, and just over seven months since we started dating. Which means that really, we're still getting used to each other. There's still things we're learning about each other. Like his temper, which is related to his bipolar. I knew he had a temper. But I'd never really seen it until after we got married, because we never really fought that much before we got married.
I don't know what it is, but marriage changes the relationship. It suddenly makes it more intense. Maybe it's the expectations that so many people have about marriage. Or the fact that you can't just decide to break up like you could before. Once you're married, ending the relationship means divorce. And divorce is not fun. I know. I did that before. It took me a LONG time to recover from it. In fact, it wasn't until I started dating my current husband that I could really say I was over my first one.
I love being married. Actually, it's more that I love being married to this man. This man who is so much younger than me, but so, so perfect for me. Even when we're fighting. Even when he's having a severe mood swing. Even when I want to strangle him. I adore him. I love him more than I thought it was possible to love a man.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Not Your Typical Love Story
I adore my husband. I love him so completely, I am often amazed by it. And it's hard to believe sometimes that we've only been together for six months now.
Literally.
Let me start from the beginning.
In March 2010, I needed a place to live. I'd been buying a house on land contract, and it turned out the seller was less than scrupulous, and had not been paying the property taxes on the house, even though it was in our contract that he was to do so. I had to come up with a whole lot of money, or move.
I moved.
I posted an ad on Craigslist that I was a single mom looking for a place to live. A couple that had two upstairs bedrooms for rent contacted me. My son and I moved in the next day. Literally.
Not long after, I met my roommate's younger brother. Now, my roommate was 23 at the time, still young herself. And her brother was only 19 at the time. Definitely not a prospect for me in anyway, shape, or form LMAO
In fact, I had a strong, "I don't date" policy. I was still recovering from my divorce, which had been final in 2008. I just didn't do it. I didn't date at all. And I kept to that for another year.
Summer of 2010, living with them, I came out of my self-induced shell, a little. They'd have yard parties with bonfires, and a whole lot of people. Beer, which I hate, and liquor, which I enjoy on occasion, but avoid, because I'm crazy enough without adding drunkenness to the mix.
One party, I got a little too tipsy, which is not hard. My alcohol tolerance is REALLY low. Four shots, and I'm wasted. Seriously. So wasted that I, in fact, had to be carried to my room. By roommate's 19-year-old brother. Very, very cute 19-year-old brother.
Nothing happened that night. He carried me to my room, very awkwardly, with the help of a couple of others. He was very polite about it.
Forward to 2011. May 21st, to be exact. I'm still living there, and we're having a party in the yard. Bonfire, a bit of alcohol, a whole lot of fun. Roommate brings up the fact that her brother, now 20, had carried me to my room the previous year. And that during that drunken carrying me to my room moment, he'd gotten quite a handful of boob. And didn't move his hand. We laughed it off, and kept on partying. And somehow, I find myself in bed with said 20-year-old.
Yup.
Mind you, this is NOT in anyway typical of me. I didn't date, and I didn't fool around either. I was not one for random hookups or one-night stands. I was a relationship kind of girl, but I didn't do relationships because I'd been hurt so very badly in the past. Instead, I just chose to be single.
But this one? I couldn't deny that I'd been attracted to him all along. And I'd sensed an attraction from him, though of course, I couldn't be sure of that. Just little things, like him making sure to say hi to me, even when he didn't say anything else to anyone in the room. But I certainly didn't think he was looking for any sort of relationship with me.
So yeah, we hooked up. And that night, that's what I thought it was. A drunken hook up. I wasn't looking for a relationship, especially not with someone only 6 years older than my son.
But two days later, suddenly he's sleeping on our couch, and asking me if I want to date.
And we've been together ever since. Even during the two-week "breakup" that we had in August we were together.
I can't explain it. I love him. He's amazing to me. He really is.
Literally.
Let me start from the beginning.
In March 2010, I needed a place to live. I'd been buying a house on land contract, and it turned out the seller was less than scrupulous, and had not been paying the property taxes on the house, even though it was in our contract that he was to do so. I had to come up with a whole lot of money, or move.
I moved.
I posted an ad on Craigslist that I was a single mom looking for a place to live. A couple that had two upstairs bedrooms for rent contacted me. My son and I moved in the next day. Literally.
Not long after, I met my roommate's younger brother. Now, my roommate was 23 at the time, still young herself. And her brother was only 19 at the time. Definitely not a prospect for me in anyway, shape, or form LMAO
In fact, I had a strong, "I don't date" policy. I was still recovering from my divorce, which had been final in 2008. I just didn't do it. I didn't date at all. And I kept to that for another year.
Summer of 2010, living with them, I came out of my self-induced shell, a little. They'd have yard parties with bonfires, and a whole lot of people. Beer, which I hate, and liquor, which I enjoy on occasion, but avoid, because I'm crazy enough without adding drunkenness to the mix.
One party, I got a little too tipsy, which is not hard. My alcohol tolerance is REALLY low. Four shots, and I'm wasted. Seriously. So wasted that I, in fact, had to be carried to my room. By roommate's 19-year-old brother. Very, very cute 19-year-old brother.
Nothing happened that night. He carried me to my room, very awkwardly, with the help of a couple of others. He was very polite about it.
Forward to 2011. May 21st, to be exact. I'm still living there, and we're having a party in the yard. Bonfire, a bit of alcohol, a whole lot of fun. Roommate brings up the fact that her brother, now 20, had carried me to my room the previous year. And that during that drunken carrying me to my room moment, he'd gotten quite a handful of boob. And didn't move his hand. We laughed it off, and kept on partying. And somehow, I find myself in bed with said 20-year-old.
Yup.
Mind you, this is NOT in anyway typical of me. I didn't date, and I didn't fool around either. I was not one for random hookups or one-night stands. I was a relationship kind of girl, but I didn't do relationships because I'd been hurt so very badly in the past. Instead, I just chose to be single.
But this one? I couldn't deny that I'd been attracted to him all along. And I'd sensed an attraction from him, though of course, I couldn't be sure of that. Just little things, like him making sure to say hi to me, even when he didn't say anything else to anyone in the room. But I certainly didn't think he was looking for any sort of relationship with me.
So yeah, we hooked up. And that night, that's what I thought it was. A drunken hook up. I wasn't looking for a relationship, especially not with someone only 6 years older than my son.
But two days later, suddenly he's sleeping on our couch, and asking me if I want to date.
And we've been together ever since. Even during the two-week "breakup" that we had in August we were together.
I can't explain it. I love him. He's amazing to me. He really is.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
My Husband is Bipolar
My husband is bipolar.
There, I said it.
Let me say it again.
My husband is bipolar.
I'm 33. He's 20. His mood swings sometimes make my head spin. I knew before we even started dating that he was bipolar. I saw the mood swings while we were dating. Mood swings that resulted in text messages saying, "It's over." With him coming back the next day as if nothing happened, as if we were okay, and it was business as usual.
I'd dealt with bipolar before. My father is bipolar. My mother is bipolar. I've had friends that are bipolar. But this? Living with it, loving someone so deeply with it? It's hard.
That doesn't mean I give up. I love him. That's not changing. I know, when he's ranting and screaming, that it's not the man that I love, the man that I married. It's the disease. I know that.
But it's still hard.
When we fight, he wants out. When he gets mad at someone else, he takes it out on me, and says he wants out. I know that feeling. The feeling of needing to escape, to run. I've just learned over the years not to always express what I'm feeling. That's something he still has to learn.
He's 20. I'm 33. He's bipolar. And we deal with it.
There, I said it.
Let me say it again.
My husband is bipolar.
I'm 33. He's 20. His mood swings sometimes make my head spin. I knew before we even started dating that he was bipolar. I saw the mood swings while we were dating. Mood swings that resulted in text messages saying, "It's over." With him coming back the next day as if nothing happened, as if we were okay, and it was business as usual.
I'd dealt with bipolar before. My father is bipolar. My mother is bipolar. I've had friends that are bipolar. But this? Living with it, loving someone so deeply with it? It's hard.
That doesn't mean I give up. I love him. That's not changing. I know, when he's ranting and screaming, that it's not the man that I love, the man that I married. It's the disease. I know that.
But it's still hard.
When we fight, he wants out. When he gets mad at someone else, he takes it out on me, and says he wants out. I know that feeling. The feeling of needing to escape, to run. I've just learned over the years not to always express what I'm feeling. That's something he still has to learn.
He's 20. I'm 33. He's bipolar. And we deal with it.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Obligatory Introduction Post
First, let me explain the name of my blog. I am Gwynne, aka Weenie, aka Super Weenie. It's a nickname that my former roommate/current sister-in-law gave me shortly after I moved in with them. Not entirely sure how she came up with it, but it stuck to the point that even my now-husband/her brother occasionally calls me Weenie. All of our friends call me Weenie. It was irritating at first, but it grew on me.
So when I needed a name for this new blog, something unique that wasn't already taken and popularized, that's what I came up with.
Okay, now, a little about myself. Right now, I'm 33-years-old. I have a 14-year-old son. And a 20-year-old husband. Yes, that means I am technically a cougar... I'm sure I'll be writing a LOT about that one.
It's not my first marriage. My first was... well... it was interesting. I doubt I'll write much about that one. I don't really talk to my ex at all. He's not my son's biological father, so there is no tie there.
My life is... interesting. I'm broke, for now. I work for myself, which makes it slightly easier to get money, but it's still tough. Between the crappy economy, and my ADHD which has my mind EVERYWHERE... Yeah... I'm broke LOL We survive, and I'm working on being not broke, but yeah.
So about the whole married to a 20-year-old thing... 'cuz I'm sure that's going to be a point of contention, considering I get all sorts of flack about it IRL, I love him. He is the most amazing person to me, even when he's driving me absolutely insane. Marriage in general is never exactly easy; throw a 13 year age difference into the mix, and it's all sorts of not exactly easy. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Oh, and we've only been together six months. We got married five months after we started dating... October 29th, 2011. So yes, that means we've only been married a month. Crazy, I know.
I'm an internet geek. Major internet geek. I'm online A LOT. I spend ENTIRELY too much time on Facebook. Ask my husband. He'll tell you. (BTW, I love saying that, MY HUSBAND :) ) I used to be WAY addicted to Twitter, but that's died down a bit for me. For now... I'm sure that addiction will come back, now that I'm starting another blog.
Yes, another blog. This is not my first rodeo. I've run multiple blogs in the past, including two very successful blogs, Lemonade Mama and Fat Girl Gets Fit. I let them go due to various craziness in my life. I miss those blogs, and my readers, and that's why I'm starting this one. I want to be a part of that blogging community again.
So what will you see here? I'm not going to focus on any one particular topic with this blog. I'll probably post multiple times a day about cooking, life in general, working from home, life as a semi-cougar, being a mom, and probably some product reviews and such. I'm not a normal person, so don't expect much normalcy here.
So when I needed a name for this new blog, something unique that wasn't already taken and popularized, that's what I came up with.
Okay, now, a little about myself. Right now, I'm 33-years-old. I have a 14-year-old son. And a 20-year-old husband. Yes, that means I am technically a cougar... I'm sure I'll be writing a LOT about that one.
It's not my first marriage. My first was... well... it was interesting. I doubt I'll write much about that one. I don't really talk to my ex at all. He's not my son's biological father, so there is no tie there.
My life is... interesting. I'm broke, for now. I work for myself, which makes it slightly easier to get money, but it's still tough. Between the crappy economy, and my ADHD which has my mind EVERYWHERE... Yeah... I'm broke LOL We survive, and I'm working on being not broke, but yeah.
So about the whole married to a 20-year-old thing... 'cuz I'm sure that's going to be a point of contention, considering I get all sorts of flack about it IRL, I love him. He is the most amazing person to me, even when he's driving me absolutely insane. Marriage in general is never exactly easy; throw a 13 year age difference into the mix, and it's all sorts of not exactly easy. But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Oh, and we've only been together six months. We got married five months after we started dating... October 29th, 2011. So yes, that means we've only been married a month. Crazy, I know.
I'm an internet geek. Major internet geek. I'm online A LOT. I spend ENTIRELY too much time on Facebook. Ask my husband. He'll tell you. (BTW, I love saying that, MY HUSBAND :) ) I used to be WAY addicted to Twitter, but that's died down a bit for me. For now... I'm sure that addiction will come back, now that I'm starting another blog.
Yes, another blog. This is not my first rodeo. I've run multiple blogs in the past, including two very successful blogs, Lemonade Mama and Fat Girl Gets Fit. I let them go due to various craziness in my life. I miss those blogs, and my readers, and that's why I'm starting this one. I want to be a part of that blogging community again.
So what will you see here? I'm not going to focus on any one particular topic with this blog. I'll probably post multiple times a day about cooking, life in general, working from home, life as a semi-cougar, being a mom, and probably some product reviews and such. I'm not a normal person, so don't expect much normalcy here.
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